Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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