Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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