Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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