Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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