Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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