Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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