Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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