Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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