Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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