Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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