Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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