Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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