Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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