Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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