Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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