Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.


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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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