Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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