Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.

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