Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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