Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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