Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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