Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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