Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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