Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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