Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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