Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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