Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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