Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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