Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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