Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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