Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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