Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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