Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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