Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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