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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the computer squeak?
Someone stepped on its mouse.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane
but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"
and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
It's time to go to sweep.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,
he's a catholic converter.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?
A sandwich!
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