Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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