Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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