Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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