Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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