Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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