Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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