Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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