Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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