Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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