Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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