Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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