Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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