Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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