Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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