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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?
"Would you like fries with that?"
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?
A road hog.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How does a dog stop a video?
He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?
Carlos.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?
coz Donald ducked
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poke her face.
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