Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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