Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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