Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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