Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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