Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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