Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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