Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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