Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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