Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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