Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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