Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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