Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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