Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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