Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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