Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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