Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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