Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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