Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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