Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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