Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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