Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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