Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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