Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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