Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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