Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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