Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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