Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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