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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?
Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar!
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What does GOP stand for?
Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?
Start with two million.
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What type of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.
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