Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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