Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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