Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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