Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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