Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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