Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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