Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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