Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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