Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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