Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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