Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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