Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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