Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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