Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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