Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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