Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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