Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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