Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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