Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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