Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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