Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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