Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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