Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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