Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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