Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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