Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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