Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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