Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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