Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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