Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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