Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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