Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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