Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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