Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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