Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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