Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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