Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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