Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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