Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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