Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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