Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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