Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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