Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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