Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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