Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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