Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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