Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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