Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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