Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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