Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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