Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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