Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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