Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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