Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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