Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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