Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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