Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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