Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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