Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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