Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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