Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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