Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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