Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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