Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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