Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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