Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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