Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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