Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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