Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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