Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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