Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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