Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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