Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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