Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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