Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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