Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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