Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.

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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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