Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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