Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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