Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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