Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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