Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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