Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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