Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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