Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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