Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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