Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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