Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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