Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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