Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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