Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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