Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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