Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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