Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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