Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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