Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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