Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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