Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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