Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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