Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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