Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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