Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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