Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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