Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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