Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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