Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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