Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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