Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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