Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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