Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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