Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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