Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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