Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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