Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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