Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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