Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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