Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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