Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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