Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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