Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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