Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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