Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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