Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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