Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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