Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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