Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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