Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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