Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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