Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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