Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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