Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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