Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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