Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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