Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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