Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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