Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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