Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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