Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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