Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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