Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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