Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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