Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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