Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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