Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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