Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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