Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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