Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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