Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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