Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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