Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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