Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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