Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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