Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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