Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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