Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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