Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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