Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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