Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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