Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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