Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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