Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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