Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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