Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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