Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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