Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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