Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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