Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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