Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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