Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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