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Why did the calendar write its will?
Its days were numbered.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?
Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?
Carlos.
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What do whales eat?
Fish and ships.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?
Decalfinated
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
With flood lighting.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?
The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?
Cheeses of Nazareth.
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