Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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